Lately, I’ve been seeing so many people I know announce that they are pregnant with their first child. I always love seeing this, because it wasn’t long ago I was in their shoes. It brings back a lot of memories and emotions about my own experience. I was so excited for the future, yet so scared of the unknown. Today, with Mother’s Day being at the end of the week, I wanted to share my personal experience of being pregnant as a first time mom.
I had a difficult beginning to my pregnancy. I learned that I was pregnant not long after experiencing my second miscarriage. I never thought that I would go through anything like that when the time came to have a baby, so it caught me off guard and left me with a very distraught feeling that wouldn’t go away. The first time I miscarried, I was very disappointed, but also hopeful. The second time that it happened, I felt very alone. We had only been living in Las Vegas for a couple months and I hadn’t told anyone that I was pregnant. I was so saddened by the whole experience, that I was afraid to try again. It wasn’t long after that second miscarriage, that I felt like something was off. I kept waiting for my period to start, but nothing happened. I decided to take a pregnancy test and sure enough, it was true. I kept it to myself, in fear of it being too soon to tell, so I took one more test later in the week. Sure enough, it showed I was pregnant. The next morning I threw up and knew it had to be true.
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| 18-week baby bump |
My first trimester was long and miserable. I threw up almost every day. I was so tired and sick. I remember feeling so sad because I thought pregnancy was supposed to be an exciting and happy time in my life. I was worried all the time because I thought that something bad was going to happen to the baby. The one thing that saved me during this time, surprisingly, was going to work every day. As sick as I was, I never called in and I never threw up at work. It kept me busy and kept my mind off how yucky I felt. When I hit 12 weeks and was still sick I got concerned that the morning sickness would never go away. Then one day, probably around 15 or 16 weeks I didn’t throw up my breakfast. After that, I magically started to feel like a human again.
Once I got over my morning sickness, I started getting excited about my pregnancy. My ultrasound at 18 weeks was definitely a high light. I found out that I was having a boy and that everything was developing well. I was able to worry less and start to enjoy myself a little more. My belly popped out right around 20 weeks and that’s when I got really excited about styling my bump. I started my weekly maternity post on my blog which I really enjoyed. (You can check those out here) I felt good in my second trimester, for the most part. I did start to feel very uncomfortable around 22 weeks. As the baby grew, my body grew and stretched in ways it never had before, making it very uncomfortable.
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| 28-week bump |
By my third trimester, I had the perfect size bump and I felt as good as I could feel. I do remember feeling extremely anxious. I started watching people’s birth stories on youtube and reading lots of other blogger’s birth stories. I prepared myself for the worse. I was ready to get my little guy out, it didn’t matter how. Despite all my research, when the time came and I went into labor, I didn’t believe it. I had to google “water breaking” over and over again. It wasn’t until I started having strong contractions that I believed I was in labor.
It was a really weird feeling when I finally got to hold my little man in my arms. I was in awe of him and couldn’t stop thinking about the whole experience. As much as I was ready to get him out, I immediately missed feeling him inside me. I wanted to be pregnant again….if that made any sense?
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| Snuggling with my newborn |
I would love to have another baby someday, but I’m not in a rush. I’m enjoying all the moments I can with Jack right now and our little family of 3. I do miss that feeling of being pregnant at times, and I look forward to experiencing it again one day. It makes me a little sad to think that nothing will be like the first time, but it does excite me to know that the next time I am pregnant, I will be sharing it with Jack too. I look forward to the day that I can make him a big brother.
What was your first pregnancy experience like? How was it different from your others?
